ME, ME, ME

I was the "Meosaur" tonight (Have you ever read the book "Minosaur?"  The Groff girls love it, the only problem is that the younger ones tend to walk around saying "mine, mine, mine" after we read it.  And I work so hard to teach them not to say that in the first place!  Oh well, as they get older, they understand the real purpose of the book.


All I wanted was to do something for me, me, me.  And I really didn't realize it until I read a post from a dear friend who is on an adoption journey.  I got out for a jog tonight (pretty close to dark), after trying hard to settle Talia and not really sure if she was settled as I ran.  And I was thinking, selfishly, I sometimes wish my babies didn't need ME so much...Ryan helps with the babies some, but the truth is, especially with breast feeding, they usually need ME in these early weeks. And for us there are 5 other little women that also need our love and attention, so he is generally pulled in that many other directions.  The only reason I wish they didn't need ME is so I could do whatever it is that ME wants to!  It is purely selfish.


And then I thought...I don't think, in fact I know, that God doesn't respond that way to all of us (to ME) who desperately need Him...because he unselfishly loves us, gives to us and provide for us, ALL of the time.  I know, I know, there are those who will argue that everyone needs some "me" time, and it's okay to take a little time for yourself.  I'm not prepared to argue against that, in fact, ME loves that idea.  And yet, is it really true?  I suppose it depends on what that "me" time looks like, how we spend it, or when we take it.  In fact, I think that's just it.  "Me" time is probably very beneficial, if we spend it with God or at least honoring God with our choice of activity, or non-activity in our "me" time.  And "Me" time is probably very important, if we don't neglect anothers glaring needs to take it.  And it probably comes down to our attitude about "me" time too...for ME tonight, it was plain old selfish.  And I'm not even referring to going for a jog, but my line of thinking as I did jog.  Because, the truth is, that I am so blessed to have a newborn baby, a new life given as a gift, that does need ME very often.


Maybe when I get older, I'll understand the real purpose of this life on earth...that it isn't about ME, but about being a servant of God and thus a servant to others.  And I confess that is a super simplified statement about the purpose of life, but I'm not about to expand upon that one tonight.  


Since my precious little one was very much a reason for my post tonight, here are a few pictures to hold you over until I can give her a proper introduction...don't hold your breath till I do.  My track record for consistency in blogging will not earn ME any awards.

How do you do it?

I can't tell you how many times this question is posed to me by anyone and everyone.  And I can't tell you how many answers I can and can't come up with..."One day at a time."  "With God's strength."  "We have a great support system in our family and friends."  "I'm Superwoman!" (Kidding, I've never used that last one nor do I believe it).  "I'm crazy and insane."  (I think about this one freqently, and I know others do).

I came across an article through a site on large families, and as I read through it, this particular passage (posted below) rang so true with where we are at as a couple and family.  It also greatly encouraged me to maintain, right now return, to an attitude that is like Christ.  I am so thankful for the "fun" things in life, the times that I feel spoiled by the conveniences of our American culture in particular.  But the truth is, that our lives as servants of God are not by design meant to be filled with all of the "things" that make us happy; nor do they need to be or will they be easy.  We are here to worship God, to serve Him, and to share God and His love with others (no matter what our circumstances or where God calls us)...a self-sacrificial life. 
Well, instead of me going on and on, I'll just let you read the author's words for yourself.  I hope you are challenged, as I was.  And the neat thing is, the principle(s) he addresses don't just apply to having a large family, but to many, maybe all areas of our lives.  So, if having more children isn't where you are at in life, substitute those words/phrases with whatever calling you might be living out right now.

This then, is kind of a summary of not just how, but also a bit of why.  Please know that I in no way intend to condemn or judge what choice others have made in the area of having children through this post.  Instead, I hope that it will encourage others not only in this area, but in other areas of life as well.  Even if we've got this one right, we humbly admit that there is another are many areas of our own lives in which we most certainly don't.

P.S.  Would really like to add some pictures to this post, but since I'm on our laptop that does not have my pictures and I'm already snuggled in bed for the night, those will have to wait.


"From a biblical perspective, there is no reason to believe God wouldn't provide for the children He creates. Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat? Or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you as well." (Matt. 6:25-33) Likewise, David said this: "I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread." (Psalm 37:25) God will, therefore, see that we have everything we need, but that doesn't mean God will give us everything we want. The problem many of us have is that we consider the following as needs: air conditioning, cable television, two cars, new clothes, vacations with hotel stays, convenience foods, restaurant food, (Even just the yummy foods we are used to and really like!  We could survive on a much different diet than we do, and still be healthy; in fact, probably healthier!) a large home, and a new car (Add your own things to this list and see how much we really don't need.  Very humbling.). These are not needs, but many of us give them a higher priority than having children - using them as an excuse for not having children. When our life is over, God will judge our work by his own standard. Paul writes, "Each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." (1 Cor. 3:10b-15) What does this have to do with having children? My house, my car, my air conditioner, my computer, and my new clothes have this in common: none of them will survive judgment day. On the other hand, we can be certain that the souls of my children are eternal. Now then, if I limit the number of children I have so I can watch television, play computer games, eat convenience foods, or avoid sweating in the summertime, I have invested my money foolishly. In the eternal sense, I have given away gold and exchanged it for straw. Martin Luther put it this way: "But the greatest good in married life, that which makes all suffering and labor worth while, is that God grants offspring and commands that they be brought up to worship and serve him. In all the world this is the noblest and most precious work, because in God there can be nothing dearer than the salvation of souls. Now since we are all duty bound to suffer death, if need be, that we might bring a single soul to God, you an see how rich the estate of marriage is in good works. God has entrusted to its bosom souls begotten of its own body, on whom it can lavish all manner of Christian works. Most certainly father and mother are apostles, bishops, and priests to their children, for it is they who make them acquainted with the gospel. In short, there is no greater or nobler authority on earth than that of parents over their children." (The Estate of Marriage, 1522) If only we all had such an exalted view of raising children, but as it is we often despise this noble right by selling it for a new car, a vacation at the beach, or a new wardrobe. We are like Esau who sold his blessing for a bowl of stew.  (Absolutely love this whole Biblical concept of investing in souls as it is applied to having and raising children!)





Since all of us are sinful, we all struggle with poor parenting in varying degrees. However, the solution is not to accommodate our sin but to overcome it. We should urgently seek to manage our families well whether God gives us more children or not.

 Our first child was the most difficult and time-consuming child we had until our tenth. He didn't seem to need more than half a night's sleep and he was very strong willed. With our first, Cindy wasn't working at all and I can remember coming home one night to find Cindy with large black rings under her eyes and tears rolling down her cheeks. Our oldest had simply left her worn out, sleep deprived, and discouraged. (The author is so real and honest here...let's face it parents, we've all been there, maybe over and over.  But, do we let our suffering determine, rather deter us from God's blessings?) Eventually, however, Cindy made it through and God gave us the grace to survive every additional child God gave us. We survived the lost sleep (I must confess that Cindy lost more than I did), the diapers, the arguments, the disobedience, the expense, the extra work, and the loss of our freedom. But our life has been easy compared with those who have children with serious chronic illnesses or handicaps. It seems that sometimes God gives people seemingly impossible circumstances, but even they usually manage to survive. The bottom line is that we are sinful and our kids are sinful and a lot of work besides. Therefore, having more children means that the sin and the work are multiplied. Even the most extraordinary circumstances we can imagine, however, are nothing compared to the life of suffering Jesus endured on our behalf, and we ought to have the same attitude toward suffering that Jesus did.  (I don't think I really grasp this on a daily basis, and with Easter just days away, this really hits home for me.)  Paul writes, "Your attitude should be the same of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!" (Phil. 2:5-8) The reason so many of us "can't handle" our children is because we don't have a Christ-like attitude towards suffering. We want parenting - and the rest of our Christian walk for that matter - to be without suffering. We expect that the Christian life should be one long series of easy victories. Paul, however, understood that the Christian life wasn't supposed to be painless. He compared our life to that of a soldier or an Olympic athlete. Jesus painted a more painful picture when he told us to pick up our crosses daily and follow Him.

(If you haven't really gotten anything from this article yet, pay attention here.  This is where the rubber meets the road.)  Even so, Paul could write, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so somehow to attain the resurrection of the dead." (Phil. 3:10-11) The writer of Hebrews wrote, "Jesus, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Heb 12:2b-3) As parents, then, we should endure the hardships of parenting for the joys of sharing our faith and the Christian life with our children. We can handle having as many children as God gives us because parenting gives us a chance to humble ourselves and suffer for the sake of our offspring. In this way, we share in the sufferings of Christ, but these sufferings are nothing compared with the joy we will have before Christ when He comes in His glory. Nevertheless, there will still be times when it seems to us we can't handle another child. If God gives us another child anyway, we can be sure that He will give us all the strength we need to do the task. Isaiah says, "Do you not know? Have you not heard?


The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Is. 40:28-31) Perhaps in our own power, then, we cannot handle another child, but those who trust in the Lord will have a joy and a strength that will overcome the hardships.  (And that right there is the only reason, and how we do it.)

The Best of 2010

Alright, it is at least some of the best.  There are so many pictures from this past year to choose from that I had to leave some good ones out, or you'd be scrolling for days.  I had wanted to update this blog with the things that have happened over the past several months in which I did not post entries, and just couldn't figure out how I was going to do that.  So instead of trying to accomplish that, you'll just get to see a handful (or more, we'll see what happens), of my favorite shots from 2010.  It's my best attempt at catching up and keeping up for now.

 

Our 5th little lady entered the world on February 5th, 2010.  Mikayla Reese had a textbook arrival, my best (I didn't have any bad ones) delivery yet, and I am so thankful for that.  These are two of my favorite pictures from her first days as it so clearly contrasts the eldest and youngest daughter in our family.  It seems like just yesterday that Alivia was that tiny baby, and now she holds and helps care for the new additions as they arrive.  In the photo on the right, Alivia came with me for Risa's (one of her nicknames as of now) first Dr. appointment...I didn't imagine how much fun it would be to share in the joy of showing off our new baby with Alivia.

 

These were taken during one of the big snowstorms in the early months of 2010.  Though Kate was only just over a year old, she insisted on being outside with her big sisters and Daddy too.  On the right, you can see the remnants of her tears when I finally made her come inside.  She sat fully dressed in the mud room for several minutes "getting over" the fact that she was forced to come inside.  Oh how I love that even the youngest ones in the bunch want to be a part of what the family is doing.  This will only get sweeter with time.

These two really are "peas in a pod" much of the time.  They love each other and spending time together with a passion, and sometimes fight with just as much.  On this particular day, I was overjoyed to see them helping each other on the roller skates as they took turns trying them out.  You see, they weren't just holding hands because that's what sisters do (though that is reason enough).  This time around, they were willingly and joyfully providing a stability for the one on wheels.  This is my prayer for my children and my family all the time...that we would support each other through all of life's adventures.

As Hannah outgrows her nap time and is becoming a little lady herself, she gets more and more quality time with her two older sisters.  Crammed onto one stuffed chair, they spent almost an hour "reading" together, singing songs, and just being generally silly.  I hope their childhood days are filled with moments like these...just being together, full of love, joy, and of all things...peace (aka, no fighting!).

Capturing moments of my babies' like this one just melts my heart.  When an adult yawns with a wide open mouth like this, we are often disgusted at their gaping jaw and rudeness for not covering it.  But when a precious little baby gives us a chance to not only see but capture the sleepy gesture, we are in awe.  And shouldn't we be?  New life is certainly something to be in awe of, and I for one don't ever want to not stop and take in the miracle of life in each new baby I meet (mine or someone else's).

 

I'm not really sure when this cheesy grin of Hannah's started, but it became her signature photo face for the year.  At first I would try hard to get her to smile "normally," but decided that it was representative of her at this time in her life.  Besides, except for the fact that she hides her beautiful baby blues, she is so stinkin' cute, cheesy grin and all.

 

We desire to give Easter, and the death and resurrection of Christ, as much attention as we do in celebrating Christmas when our Savior was born.  At the same time, pretty Easter dresses in pastel colors and brightly colored Easter eggs hidden in the backyard make it a special time with our families as well.  Speaking to the photo on the right, some of my favorite moments with the girls' grandparents are watching them explore life and the world around them, talking and learning from the aged and wise.  Here, they are finished searching for the eggs, and are engaged in a conversation with Pappie, probably about birds or butterflies.

A shot from Easter with the Lehman family.  I had to include this one.  You see, with 11 grandchildren ages 6 and under (and that number jumped to 12 at the end of May!), family get togethers are always full of, well, many things.  Children, namely, and all that goes with them, including laughter and joy!

Washing the car with Daddy makes for some great photo opportunities as well.  A smile doesn't get more authentic than Kate gave me in this first shot.  And the second shot melts my heart to see a little lady, parading after her Daddy in her dress and rain boots, trying hard to keep up with his every step.

TROUBLE.  Enough said.

Oh that hair...Hannah has beautiful curls, and this is what they can look like

when she wakes up in the morning and is in desperate need of a haircut.  

Kate was blessed with the big eyes in our family, and does she ever know how to use them.  The best adjective we have come up with to describe her is coy.  She is so good at putting on a show and pretending she has no idea that she is drawing attention to herself.
Her understanding of people and life leads me to believe she is 2 going on 12.

These two are some of my favorites because they are so representative of summer nights at our house.  We love to be outside in the warmer weather, and you never know what we'll end up doing on those hot summer nights.  Sometimes it just means enjoying an ice pop in the grass and swinging with the neighbors, other nights are spent working in the gardens, and there are always times like in this picture that lead me to pull out the camera and capture some shots. 

I couldn't resist putting this one in.  My fun loving husband grew up playing with a family of three girls that dressed him up, put make-up on him, and recruited him to play "house."  Now with his own house full of girls, there are always moments when he is donning a girly look or activity.

 

I had to put these two in...our dear Kate has long since needed to have her blanky wrapped in some way around her head or shoulders.  It started during naps and quiet time, and if we allow her to have her blanky at other times throughout the day you can often find it covering her head.  We've nicknamed her Mother Theresa or Mary in honor of the get-up.  To this day she sleeps with a light pink receiving blanket (acquired from the hospital where I deliver; actually many pink ones have been acquired by now, and we look forward to the day when we can come home with some blue ones!) completely covering her face when she goes to sleep.

There is nothing like the safety and security of being by Daddy's side.

Mikayla is our 3rd who sucks not her thumb, but two of her fingers.  It makes for some interesting poses.

Poor Hannah is so prone to injuries...she fell off our porch steps onto the sidewalk, not once but twice on her way to accomplishing this bruise.  Just today, as she was "helping" Mommy sew some Bible costumes for school, she managed to actually sew through her pointer finger.  I literally had to cut her finger away from the material to which it was attached, and then proceed to remove a thread that had been threaded completely through her finger.  She actually handled it very well, and I'm not sure it was overly painful but the amount of blood and the incident herself seemed to bother her more than anything.  I used to think Tessa would be our first broken bone in the family as she is known as the "climber."  Anymore, I'm not so sure her little sister Hannah won't beat her to that milestone.

Tessa's 4 year photo session was so much fun.  Taken at Lititz Springs Park, I thought she did an excellent job of showing her personality throughout the session.  It was more than fun capturing images of her, and I look forward to doing more of that for each of my daughters and children through the years.

It is photographs like this one that will become treasures in years to come.

And our Nannie always looks so stylish and sophisticated doesn't she?

We don't often have pictures of ourselves taken, although I do want to have some of us over the years.  This one marks the celebration of my 30th birthday just before we headed out to dinner as an ending to a memorable day.  Ryan made plans for us to spend the day visiting landmarks from my past including the church I grew up in, my elementary school, a reunion with a favorite high school teacher at our high school, and a visit to the church where we were married and attended for the first 5 years of our marriage.  He put a lot of thought and planning into our day and made it special each step of the way (not to mention he escorted me in his aunt's race car red BMW Z3, that's a sweet little convertible coupe for those who aren't automobile savvy).  I even got to head out in the car by myself in the afternoon to do a little birthday shopping before preparing for our romantic night out.  Turning 30 really isn't a big deal to me, but spending the day like this made it an event I was glad to celebrate.

 

With 5 little women and another on the way, I can't hold and snuggle them all day long (nor would they would probably let me).  But, I do find ways to keep them close to me (love my Ergo) when they seem to need me physically close for more than a few minutes (and Mommy needs to be doing something), and treasure the moments when we do share snuggles, hugs, and kisses.  When  I look at Alivia I realize oh how quickly they grow and how fast time is passing us by.

We were blessed to enjoy two vacations in the late summer and fall,

only because of the generosity of our family.  There were many moments to remember on these adventures, and here are two of those fun times during a weekend at Aunt Jill's bay house.

Staying up late, eating yummy food, crabbing, kayaking, playing in the sand and water,

and of course riding on her golf cart were all highlights of our time there.

I of course used the opportunity of a marvelous setting and

an oh so cute subject to capture some pictures of Mikayla around 7 months old.

These were taken on our family hike through the woodland once owned by "Paw-Paw White."  Thought it isn't always easy to pack us all up and spend long periods of time in the Great Outdoors, we are grateful for the times we can and do.  We are all positively affected by being in God's marvelous creation, and there is nothing more thrilling than exploring bugs, rocks, and even thorns together.

Below are some highlights of our week long stay in the Outer Banks with Pappie, Nannie and the rest of the Groff gang.  As it had been several years since we spent so much quality time on the beach, we were especially grateful to be there and talk about perfect weather.  We couldn't have asked for a nicer week, in September none the less.  Even with the "work" of 5 little girls in the sun and sand, we were able to thoroughly enjoy vacation and accurately earning the titles of Beach Bums.

On our way to the Outer Banks we broke up the drive with a stop at the Botanical Gardens in Norfolk VA.  They had an awesome children's garden, with lots to explore and a wonderfully refreshing water fountains.  

Before leaving the Botanical Gardens, we took a rest on a nearby hill to watch airplanes land and take off.

Pappie and Nannie let each of the girls pick out a kite...and we had a blast flying them everyday to mark our spot on the beach.  Tessa's Octopus was the most successful at getting high in the sky and remaining there.

Several mornings I was able to head out to the beach at sunrise to capture some shots
and just get some quiet time walking along the water's edge.  Ryan and Mikayla joined me
on this particular morning and this shot of Daddy and baby is very precious to me.
The Master's hand created a tiny miracle in the birth of a child, and huge feat in creating the vast waters of the oceans in our world.  Whom else but an Awesome and MightyGod could accomplish two such feats?

There's not much cuter than a sweet little babe in a sweet little "babing" (termed by Hannah) suit on the beach.  

I love that Uncle Brady, Daddy, and the three older sisters can be seen in the background enjoying the waves.

Oh the days of lying in the surf.

I did say these two like to do everything together, right?

Ryan is in his glory as we drive along the dunes.  I am on the edge of my seat thinking what happens if we get stuck.

I have no words for this one.

Yet another treasure for the future.  Grandchildren are a heritage, and Grandparents give a heritage.  Mi-Mi is known to just keep on going...she rarely takes a break, and if she does, one of her 12 grandchildren is found in her lap reading a book or snuggling.  Some day (I keep telling her this), we will be able to do as much and more than she is doing for us in this difficult stage of raising our little ladies.  Because you see, they will turn into young women, full of energy and (it is our prayer) servant's hearts for others.

I don't look forward to my mother slowing down, but I will welcome

the opportunity to give back to her all that she has given to me and my family.

I couldn't resist adding this family photo from last Christmas, and the one below...

to show how we have grown and changed over the last year.
Certainly not the best shots in the world of portrait photography,
but evidence of the reality of our lives today.  And for that we are thankful that we are so blessed.
Just a comical note, Kate is not a finger sucker, but does indeed
have her fingers in her mouth on this one.  Such is life with 5 little women!

And that concludes the Best of 2010.  And though it is much later than I had hoped, I am glad to have finished the post.  Unfortunately, I have not reviewed and edited as much as I probably should have, but I can't wait to publish the post, so I will do that tomorrow (or another day in the hopefully near future).  In the mean time, I hope you enjoy seeing our life from the past year through snippets and snapshots.