Understanding God in a New Way

It didn't hit me until chapter 10, how much I had really missed within the story.  I was enjoying it, we all were.  Well, the oldest daughter and I mostly.  The younger sisters mostly enjoyed it because they could stay up just a bit later.  I should have known.  C.S. Lewis was beyond talented in describing our God within a story...embedded so far into the story that it was easy to miss.  And I almost did.  I'm thankful I didn't.

I don't know who the Hermit is in The Horse and His Boy, maybe he is just a character used by Lewis to make the story what it is.  I'd say he is some type of angel, one of God's prophets perhaps.  But it doesn't really matter.  Lewis gives him words that I came back to.  Again.  And again.

"Daughter," said the Hermit, "I have now lived a hundred and nine winters in this world and have never yet met any such thing as Luck.  There is something about all this that I do not understand:  but if ever we need to know it, you may be sure that we shall."

There it is, plain as day.  Life isn't about luck.  It never was.  It never will be.  And life doesn't always, maybe not even often make sense.  Oh how we long to know the why, to understand.  It isn't a need, just a desire, a belief that knowing will make it better.  I'm not so sure.  I think the Hermit was talking about trust.  God will reveal what we need to know.  Do I trust Him?

But there is more from this story of the boy.  So much more.  In fact, the very story, of his life, speaks to God's sovereignty, His plan.  Nothing is a mistake.  No life.  No situation.  No gift.  No tragedy.

"You're not quite the great Horse you had come to think, from living among poor dumb horses.  Of course you were braver and cleverer than them.  You could hardly help being that.  It doesn't follow that you'll be anyone very special in Narnia.  But as long as you know you're nobody very special, you'll be a very decent sort of Horse, on the whole, and taking one thing with another."

This brutal honesty from my friend the Hermit almost made me laugh.  He flat out told the talking horse (this is the land of Narnia you know) that he isn't anything special compared to others.  Well, if that isn't the truth of the matter.  Humility, knowing we aren't anything more special than the next person.  I could use a dose of that.  Put me in my place God, so I can love others as you do.  "Love your neighbor as yourself..."

This is the one that really got me.  Froze me in the midst of the story.  The one I came back to, and really washed me over with peace.  It didn't help with the why, the Hermit already told us about that.  But to know He is there.  God is there.  It is God in our lives, when we don't even know it.  Now it is Aslan's turn, the Voice, who speaks boldly about our Great God.

"I was the lion."  And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued.  "I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis.  I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead.  I was the lion who gave the Horses new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time.  And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you."

I almost missed it.  How many times have I, will I miss it?  It doesn't look like God.  It doesn't feel like God.  It just doesn't seem like God.  But it is God.  Writing my story.  The boy, Shasta, innocently living out the life God had for him.  The "lion," there at every turn.  Am I as innocent?  Do I unknowingly allow my creator to steer my life?  Do I knowingly let Him?  And then this.

"Then it was you who wounded Aravis?"
"It was I."
"But what for?"
"Child," said the Voice, "I am telling you your story, not hers.  I tell no one any story but his own."

Hit with humility, again.  God is there, when we don't even know it.  Always there.  He tells us when we need to know.  Our story.  Hers is different.  I am not more special.  Just different.  Trust Him.  Innocence, like that of a child.  Following the path made for us.  Letting God lead, direct.  Unknowingly, yet knowingly.

My child, she sings these words.  Over again and again.  I ask her who they speak of.  She's not sure, but I tell her it is God.  He is with us all the time.

All this time
from the first tear cried
till today's sunrise
and every single moment between

You were there
you were always there
It was you and I
You've been walking with me 
All this time...

Lyrics to Britt Nicole's All This Time.  The other words are powerful too.  I'm glad my girl sings them.  And now her younger sisters sing them too.  I am thankful.  For the reminder.  For the words God gives others.   And I pray I will listen, that I won't miss the Voice, or the Lion.  Or life that has been given.

A constant in the midst of change...

It has been so long since I took the time to write anything, and the truth is it may be a long time until I do again. But, today I have a renewed desire to post something weekly, so here goes. First item of business, the name of this blog has got to change! We were once a family with 5 little women, and as much as I envisioned adding little men to that mix, God's plan was to bless our family with 7 little girls first! Who He has next in mind is yet to be seen. Haven't completely decided on the new title, but have a pretty good idea...hope to make that change soon.

 The most recent excitement around the Groff household is of course our 7th little blessing. Carissa Nicole let out her first cries at 5:11 on Friday evening, July 20th. After a week of questioning whether or not I was really in labor, we finally checked into the hospital around 9:30 Friday morning. Our fears of Ryan stuck in rush hour traffic driving home from his job site in Penn State were ended when they admitted us to have a baby with him present, pheww. Praise God for that answer to prayer. A nap, a few walks, a couple of hot showers and a breaking of my water, and the heat of labor finally ensued. I have to admit that my verbal response to the announcement and sight of our baby being a girl was "Really?". We were convinced that she was a boy, but thankful for who God made in Carissa! Besides, she really is the cutest little thing, with a head full of dark hair and such teeny, tiny features (I might be a bit biased). The 6 big sisters just adore her, well those who realize she's here. For good or for bad, she hasn't actually disrupted life as we know it too much yet since she is in her pack n play most of the time under her billi blanket, trying to combat some jaundice. And she's a pretty sleepy little girl...God sure was gracious in giving us women sleepy newborns for a good week (even though they are frequently not so sleepy during those long nighttime hours, sigh).

 The truth is, life as we Groff's know it is always changing. And with baby girl #7 it is sure to throw us curves once again. There are times, many perhaps, when I wish for some regularity in our life (and as some of you are thinking, so why don't you choose it!  Well, that's a post for a different day)...a desire for something constant, instead of always adjusting to what's coming next (usually in the form of a new baby) or already came depending if we are ahead of the game or still playing catch up. I'll let you guess which is the more accurate description.

 If I take a minute to pause, I do find and with open eyes can see the constant. And it is in God, our creator who has given the life so abundant in our family. The provider, who continues to meet our diverse and in some ways growing needs (in other ways they are becoming less as we learn to live more simply and fully in Christ, but that's another days post). The sustainer, who lifts us up and keeps us going in the day to day. The healer and giver of peace, who continually shows us how to live in harmony (and not in constant cat fights! Or, as is the case with some of my little girls, dog fights. They can battle with the best, or shall I say worst? of them). The list of God and His many descriptions is never ending, but you get the point. In the midst of our ever changing chaos, God is our constant. And really, it is in the rising and crashing of the waves, the blowing and ripping of the winds, the dripping and down pouring of the rain, that life happens and we are changed, for the better if we are willing. Instead of resisting it, I will CHOOSE to embrace it. No more wishing for things to remain the same. Just praise for a God who is constant and causes us to change.