I came across an article through a site on large families, and as I read through it, this particular passage (posted below) rang so true with where we are at as a couple and family. It also greatly encouraged me to maintain, right now return, to an attitude that is like Christ. I am so thankful for the "fun" things in life, the times that I feel spoiled by the conveniences of our American culture in particular. But the truth is, that our lives as servants of God are not by design meant to be filled with all of the "things" that make us happy; nor do they need to be or will they be easy. We are here to worship God, to serve Him, and to share God and His love with others (no matter what our circumstances or where God calls us)...a self-sacrificial life.
Well, instead of me going on and on, I'll just let you read the author's words for yourself. I hope you are challenged, as I was. And the neat thing is, the principle(s) he addresses don't just apply to having a large family, but to many, maybe all areas of our lives. So, if having more children isn't where you are at in life, substitute those words/phrases with whatever calling you might be living out right now.
This then, is kind of a summary of not just how, but also a bit of why. Please know that I in no way intend to condemn or judge what choice others have made in the area of having children through this post. Instead, I hope that it will encourage others not only in this area, but in other areas of life as well. Even if we've got this one right, we humbly admit that there
P.S. Would really like to add some pictures to this post, but since I'm on our laptop that does not have my pictures and I'm already snuggled in bed for the night, those will have to wait.
"From a biblical perspective, there is no reason to believe God wouldn't provide for the children He creates. Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat? Or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you as well." (Matt. 6:25-33) Likewise, David said this: "I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread." (Psalm 37:25) God will, therefore, see that we have everything we need, but that doesn't mean God will give us everything we want. The problem many of us have is that we consider the following as needs: air conditioning, cable television, two cars, new clothes, vacations with hotel stays, convenience foods, restaurant food, (Even just the yummy foods we are used to and really like! We could survive on a much different diet than we do, and still be healthy; in fact, probably healthier!) a large home, and a new car (Add your own things to this list and see how much we really don't need. Very humbling.). These are not needs, but many of us give them a higher priority than having children - using them as an excuse for not having children. When our life is over, God will judge our work by his own standard. Paul writes, "Each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." (1 Cor. 3:10b-15) What does this have to do with having children? My house, my car, my air conditioner, my computer, and my new clothes have this in common: none of them will survive judgment day. On the other hand, we can be certain that the souls of my children are eternal. Now then, if I limit the number of children I have so I can watch television, play computer games, eat convenience foods, or avoid sweating in the summertime, I have invested my money foolishly. In the eternal sense, I have given away gold and exchanged it for straw. Martin Luther put it this way: "But the greatest good in married life, that which makes all suffering and labor worth while, is that God grants offspring and commands that they be brought up to worship and serve him. In all the world this is the noblest and most precious work, because in God there can be nothing dearer than the salvation of souls. Now since we are all duty bound to suffer death, if need be, that we might bring a single soul to God, you an see how rich the estate of marriage is in good works. God has entrusted to its bosom souls begotten of its own body, on whom it can lavish all manner of Christian works. Most certainly father and mother are apostles, bishops, and priests to their children, for it is they who make them acquainted with the gospel. In short, there is no greater or nobler authority on earth than that of parents over their children." (The Estate of Marriage, 1522) If only we all had such an exalted view of raising children, but as it is we often despise this noble right by selling it for a new car, a vacation at the beach, or a new wardrobe. We are like Esau who sold his blessing for a bowl of stew. (Absolutely love this whole Biblical concept of investing in souls as it is applied to having and raising children!)
Since all of us are sinful, we all struggle with poor parenting in varying degrees. However, the solution is not to accommodate our sin but to overcome it. We should urgently seek to manage our families well whether God gives us more children or not.
Our first child was the most difficult and time-consuming child we had until our tenth. He didn't seem to need more than half a night's sleep and he was very strong willed. With our first, Cindy wasn't working at all and I can remember coming home one night to find Cindy with large black rings under her eyes and tears rolling down her cheeks. Our oldest had simply left her worn out, sleep deprived, and discouraged. (The author is so real and honest here...let's face it parents, we've all been there, maybe over and over. But, do we let our suffering determine, rather deter us from God's blessings?) Eventually, however, Cindy made it through and God gave us the grace to survive every additional child God gave us. We survived the lost sleep (I must confess that Cindy lost more than I did), the diapers, the arguments, the disobedience, the expense, the extra work, and the loss of our freedom. But our life has been easy compared with those who have children with serious chronic illnesses or handicaps. It seems that sometimes God gives people seemingly impossible circumstances, but even they usually manage to survive. The bottom line is that we are sinful and our kids are sinful and a lot of work besides. Therefore, having more children means that the sin and the work are multiplied. Even the most extraordinary circumstances we can imagine, however, are nothing compared to the life of suffering Jesus endured on our behalf, and we ought to have the same attitude toward suffering that Jesus did. (I don't think I really grasp this on a daily basis, and with Easter just days away, this really hits home for me.) Paul writes, "Your attitude should be the same of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!" (Phil. 2:5-8) The reason so many of us "can't handle" our children is because we don't have a Christ-like attitude towards suffering. We want parenting - and the rest of our Christian walk for that matter - to be without suffering. We expect that the Christian life should be one long series of easy victories. Paul, however, understood that the Christian life wasn't supposed to be painless. He compared our life to that of a soldier or an Olympic athlete. Jesus painted a more painful picture when he told us to pick up our crosses daily and follow Him.
(If you haven't really gotten anything from this article yet, pay attention here. This is where the rubber meets the road.) Even so, Paul could write, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so somehow to attain the resurrection of the dead." (Phil. 3:10-11) The writer of Hebrews wrote, "Jesus, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Heb 12:2b-3) As parents, then, we should endure the hardships of parenting for the joys of sharing our faith and the Christian life with our children. We can handle having as many children as God gives us because parenting gives us a chance to humble ourselves and suffer for the sake of our offspring. In this way, we share in the sufferings of Christ, but these sufferings are nothing compared with the joy we will have before Christ when He comes in His glory. Nevertheless, there will still be times when it seems to us we can't handle another child. If God gives us another child anyway, we can be sure that He will give us all the strength we need to do the task. Isaiah says, "Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Is. 40:28-31) Perhaps in our own power, then, we cannot handle another child, but those who trust in the Lord will have a joy and a strength that will overcome the hardships. (And that right there is the only reason, and how we do it.)
